Yesterday was my 45th birthday, and it was a very good day. I only felt one day older, no broken hip, and no mid-life crisis, haha. I am still very young at heart, and I suspect I will be that way for a very long time, so I don’t feel 45 at all.

Greg closed the store early yesterday, and got home about the same time that I did. He took me out to dinner, and bought me a wonderful back drop for my coming photography business. It’s one of the great portable drops with a carry bag, and included white and black backgrounds. So now I have my camera, lenses, spot lighting, umbrella lighting, and the back drops. I am ready to be a studio photographer! I had Greg ask Jan this week about using the yoga studio to practice and she said yes. That’s a perfect room for me to set up my equipment and play with lighting and all the different settings on my camera. She also suggested that I offer to take yoga portraits of the students. What an awesome idea! A little more practice time, and I will do just that.

Now back to my birthday. I received many birthday wishes on facebook, by email, and by texts. Recently I’ve been pondering why I don’t have many friends, and even asked Spirit to help me with this. Yesterday he showed me that I do have many friends, I just haven’t taken the time to notice and appreciate them. I put a post on facebook last night thanking everyone for the warm wishes and being blessed for having such great friends. I need to remember this everyday, just not on my birthday, to be thankful for the friends in my life, and show them that I care.

So, happy birthday to me, and thank you to Spirit for a great life!

2010 is going to be a great year! I’ve decided that for myself. I’ve been thinking about some goals the past few days, again no resolutions, just milestones and changes I want to make in my life. I still haven’t quit smoking, but that’s okay for today. It will happen soon. I’ve been eating better the past few days, and went back to the gym. I always feel so good after an hour at the gym, so I’m not sure why I really stopped going. I could blame it on several things, but it’s probably just laziness. So here are some of my goals for 2010:

STOP SMOKING: Already covered in a previous post, but still very important. I haven’t set a quit date yet. If this freaking arctic blast doesn’t leave Nashville, it will be very soon. I’m tired of standing outside in 20 degree weather to smoke.

REIKI MASTER: Over the next week I intend to complete my Master Training and schedule the attunement for soon thereafter. As soon as I finish the attunement, I will start developing a training program so I can teach and attune other students. I want to take Reiki to a new level in this area. I will be working on ways to publicize the service and the training. I want to offer services at the store, at my home, and maybe out calls, just so I can reach more people.

REFLEXOLOGIST: I want to have this training finished and the exams completed by the end of January. Allowing time for filing the paperwork with the state to be licensed, I hope to be able to start offering sessions by mid-February, or at least the end of February. Like Reiki, I want to offer services at the store, at my home, and maybe out calls.

YOGA: I’m going to give yoga a try this year. I plan to start with the beginners class tomorrow evening. Practicing yoga is part of my commitment to myself to take care of my body and my spirit.

EAT BETTER: I am such a picky eater! I intend to try many new dishes this year. I have prepared a couple of dishes the past few days that are totally new to me, and I enjoyed them both. I will be blogging about those separately, and hopefully will provide pictures of some of the dishes.

WORKING OUT: I have already started the year off better than last year ended. I need to develop a regular routine for working out. I’m going to start off slow, and let my body adjust and work up to more vigorous routines. I did not like working with a personal trainer last year. He pushed too hard, and I would leave the gym in pain and barely breathing. Many mornings I woke up so sore I could hardly get out of bed or get dressed. I just don’t see how that can be good for your body.

MEDITATE: OK, so I’m not very good at meditating. My mind wanders all over the place when I’m supposed to be still and quiet. The Buddhist books I’ve been reading say to meditate twice a day, at least 10 minutes at a time. Surely I can find two 10-minutes slots in my day to practice regularly.

SPIRITUALITY: The more I read and contemplate about life and what I believe to be truth, the more I’m convinced that Buddhism is the correct road for me. I’ve read several books on Buddhism the past couple of years, and it all seems so natural and true for me. I have an altar upstairs, but I neglect it and rarely use it for meditation. I move it around every time I feel like it’s in my way. This year I will formalize my altar, make it a place of peace and meditation.

WORK: I start a new job tomorrow, in the same office. There has been a re-organization of duties, and I’m taking on a new role. I hope this removes some of the stress I’ve been under the past couple of years, or four years actually. This year I will not allow my job to take over my life. It’s a job, a role that I play 40 hours per week, a function for my employer, and that’s all it will be. It’s not who I am, does not feed me spirituality, and I will no longer allow it to be my life.

WRITING: So Spirit keeps telling me I’m a writer. At no other time in my life have I felt that, but it does seem true. I have so many things to say, and writing seems the most logical way to release them. So for this year, I will blog often, write stories for our business blog, at least start working on the two books I want to write, and maybe try to write and submit some short stories.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Grossly neglected this past year! I call myself an amateur photographer, but I don’t know if I’m even that advanced yet. I need to start taking picture again, and develop my eye. I would love to submit some freelance pics by the end of this year, and maybe be able to do some portrait shots.

Seems like a lot for one year, but these are all the things I want to do, so it shouldn’t be a chore or stress to accomplish them. I need to get more focused to achieve these goals, and should probably develop a schedule to work on them. I do better with a plan and a schedule.

As this year comes to an end, and the promise of a new and better year approaches, I find myself reflective on life. I don’t intend to make New Year’s Resolutions, as those usually just become empty goals with no real meaning, but I do intend to make some changes in my life, and have definite goals I intend to fulfill in the coming year.

Let’s start with the most obvious path to a better me: stop smoking. In this ignored resolution of new years past, I always blamed my failure to quit smoking on lack of will power, stress from work, stress from life, or because the wind was blowing from the north. But this year is different, because quitting smoking is not a resolution to be achieved on it’s own. Quit smoking is only one small step in creating a better me. In past years I haven’t been ready to quit, but there are several reasons why I am ready now.

First, it’s become simply a habit, and not something enjoyable. There used to be this great feeling of having that desperately needed cigarette. I don’t experience that anymore. I can’t think of one cigarette I’ve had in the past few weeks that I really enjoyed. The thrill is gone.

Second, I’ve come to realize lately how nasty cigarettes are. Maybe it’s the cold damp weather of late, but I can smell the smoke so much more than I used to. I can smell it in my clothes, on my skin, in my car. My car smells like an ashtray! Thank goodness we don’t smoke in the house. I can smell it strongly on my hands, which is driving me nuts. The past few weeks I’ve been washing my hands a lot, just to remove the smell. No doubt if I can smell it on my clothes and skin, then everyone I come in contact with can smell it too.

Third, it’s a hassle. It takes extra effort to smoke these days. I can’t leave the house without making sure I have my cigarettes and a way to light them, and a way to carry them. I can’t enjoy a nice meal or social gathering out without making sure I go some place where I can slip out and smoke. Of course that has become almost embarrassing in this day when smoking is taboo. And don’t get me wrong, I’m glad smoking has become taboo. I commented to Greg recently that I wish smoking would be globally banned. Let’s make everyone stop smoking at one time, deal with a month of bad attitudes, and be done with it.

And fourth, and probably the most important, smoking doesn’t suit me anymore. It doesn’t fit the persona I’ve been working to create for myself. Although I may not be there yet, I enjoy seeing myself as an eclectic, artsy, spiritual soul. Can you be that person smelling like an cigarette all the time? Can I promote my belief in living a spiritual life, the healing energy of Spirit, the beauty of aromatherapy, the desire for a greener and more natural life, all while puffing on a cigarette? I think not.

So there you have it. These are the reasons that I will quit smoking this year. I haven’t set a ‘quit date’ yet. It could be tomorrow or a month from now, but I know it’s coming. The great thing is that quitting smoking this time is part of the natural order of things. Luckily I don’t have to be in the driver’s seat this time, I just have to let go of the fear, and allow things to happen as they should.

All as it should be….

Today was my first visit to chiropractor! I’ve had a pain in my neck for several weeks now. And no, I don’t think it can be contributed to any one person I went to Dr. Chris May in Berry Hill. It was a little scary since I had no idea what they actually do. I had an adjustment done, I think. Dr. May was awesome. He was patient and gentle, explained the entire process to me before we started, and even offered me some tips on my workout routine. The experience was great. I felt wonderful when I left. Tonight I’m a little sore, but he said that would probably happen. I’m going back again next week.

If you need a good chiropractor, go see Dr. Chris May and tell him Roy sent you.

Freedom.  We’ve all seen the emails the past few years about our freedoms as US citizens being taken away.  They started during the “W” years after 9/11, and although they seem to have slowed during the Obama administration, I still get a few, and hear grumblings from acquaintances.  But what exactly is freedom?  Isn’t it a relative term that we each apply to our own lives?

Last night, Greg and I went to an outdoor concert and fireworks display at Nashville Shores. As we stood on the sand beach of Percy Priest Lake watching the fireworks explode in the Nashville sky, I couldn’t help but think about what freedom meant to me. The evening started with a concert by Burning Las Vegas. While we were listening to the concert, my mind was watching all the couples, young and old, that were holding hands on the beach, and especially those that were dancing in the sand. I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Greg and I joined the dancing couples in front of the crowd.

When it was time for the fireworks, the park turned off the lights and beach went dark. At first we just stood there watching, occasionally touching each others hand. I put my arm on Greg’s shoulder, and then finally around his shoulders. All the time I was thinking how pathetic this whole scenario was. Why did we have to wait until the beach was pitch black to share even the smallest touch of affection?

There are no laws that state Greg and I can’t hold hands in public. The park didn’t have any posted rules saying we would be kicked out if we held hands on the beach. Today many people probably wouldn’t even notice or care. But there still exists the narrow-minded few that would have been somehow offended, and felt it there obligation to point out we shouldn’t be doing that in public. Those few take away our freedom to express our love for each other.

Freedom isn’t just about the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution of the United States, nor the Constitutions of each state. Freedom is also a relative term that must be applied to every individual. When we think about our freedoms being taken away, we have an obligation to think about not only how does this affect me, but also how does it affect our children, our neighbors down the street, the people we work with every day, or the person living a thousand miles away we’ve never met. Each of these people have the right to their individual freedom to be happy in life.

Gay marriage has become a political item these days. States and local governments are scrambling to take a side, and pass laws to support the side they have taken. The Federal government has its head in the sand, hoping they won’t have to make a decision if they wait long enough to allow all 50 states to address the debate locally. The first question you need to ask yourself is why is this even on the political agenda? When did marriage, heterosexual or homosexual, become an item that needed to be debated by lawmakers? Aren’t there more important issues that our governments need to be addressing?

As you celebrate this 4th of July, think about the freedoms you enjoy in this country. Give thanks to the many men and women who have served in the armed forces to protect our freedoms as citizens of the United States. Give thanks to the men and women who pioneered change in this country giving blacks equal rights and women the right to vote. Give thanks that you are free to live where you choose, work where you choose, and worship as you choose, and hopefully love as you choose. But most importantly gives thanks for the freedoms that are relative to your own life.

The challenge moving forward is to remember the 4th of July every day. Remember these freedoms when your friend makes a judgmental statement about another individual; remember these freedoms when a pastor tries to rally support from a congregation; remember these freedoms when your local government tries to enact laws that would violate the freedoms of just one individual; and definitely remember these freedoms on election day. Know who you are voting for, and decide if they will cast their votes for the politically popular, or if they will vote to support the freedoms of every individual they represent.

I hope you and yours have a wonderful 4th of July!

My mother passed away on June 4, 2009.  She had been unhappy with life, and deeply depressed since my father died 7 years earlier.  After a two week battle with pneumonia, she stopped fighting, and passed on to the next life.  I was sad that she left my life, but at the same time happy for her because she was going to be with my dad, exactly where she wanted to be, and she was finally at peace.

This brings up the universal question about life:  death.  What happens when we die, and where do we go?  I don’t believe anyone can know for sure.  My mother was christian, and believed she was going to heaven to be with my father.  Soon after she passed, her sister put a status on facebook that my mom “has seen the face of Jesus.”  I wonder, did she?  How can we know that?

Christians believe that life ends, and heaven or hell begins.  I’m sure that’s comforting for many, but I have to ask, is that all there is?  Do we go through this life, accomplishing much or little, and then just spend an eternity somewhere else?  Sounds like a waste of a life to me.  If there was a god that was determining our eternity, and he really wanted it to be a beautiful eternity, wouldn’t he just put us there to begin with?  Why go through all the mundane experiences of a life on earth, if they have no influence on the days following our death.

Some, like most buddhists and pagans, believe in reincarnation.  That’s an interesting alternative, but exactly how does it work?  Do we keep the same soul, and just come back in another body, or do we come back as new souls, but the same self, or do we come back as cute little rabbits or puppies?  And who makes that decision.  And if we do come back, how many times does it happen?  I’ve heard it said that we keep coming back until we get “IT” right.  Well again, who makes the decision that we finally got it right?  And finally, when do we come back?  Does the whole reincarnation process take 12 days, 32 days, 14 years?  I’m OK with the thought of reincarnation, but I want to know how many times I have to come back.  I get bored easily, and don’t want to go through the whole cycle too many times.

Let’s not forget about ghosts….where do they fit into the picture?  Is my mother just wandering around in my house?  Somedays I would say yes, especially when the cable box gets turned off, like she so often would do.  If we become ghosts and remain here in the physical earth, how long do we stay here?  I believe in ghosts, but that belief does contradict my belief in reincarnation.

And finally, could the after life be what we believed it would be, or it is something totally different that none of us would ever expect?  And my least favorite, do we just die and that’s it.  So mother, I wonder, where are you?  Did you meet Jesus and reconnect with your one true love in life, are you preparing to come back for another round or maybe you are already a newborn across town, or are you walking around my house turning off the cable box?