Taking the Chantix did not work out for me. After about 4 or 5 days, I began to feel bad and had no energy while I was taking it. I was having trouble sleeping and began having very vivid dreams that I don’t normally have. I woke up early one morning because I had dreamed that I was scooping someone’s eyeballs out with a teaspoon. I stopped taking the Chantix, and began to feel better the next day.

Greg and I have chosen this coming Friday, February 26, as our quit date. We are going to quit at the same time. I’m not sure yet if I will try to use the patches or not. I would rather go cold turkey and just get all these chemicals out of my system. That is the way I quit last time, and I believe it’s the best way to go. Just deal with the withdrawals and be done with it. I’m planning to drink lots of herbal teas to try and detox my system. We picked a Friday so we would have the weekend to get over the worst part. Hopefully by Monday morning I can come back to work without taking anybody’s head off.

Since my post about watching Food Inc, I’ve done fairly well about trying not to eat meat. The truth is I’m a meat eater, and it’s not been easy at all, haha. I would have a killed for a hamburger about mid-week. I did slip yesterday and had chicken tenders for dinner last night. I know that was very wrong, and I don’t even want to think about where that chicken came from or how it was processed. But one meal this week with meat still an improvement.

I have tried a few different things this week. I made a pot of vegetable soup from a vegetable broth. It sounded really good in the recipe, but I put in too much red chili powder and screwed it up. It was way too hot to eat. I tried a pasta dish this week using vegetarian sausage, and didn’t care too much for that.

So how do I solve this dilemma of being a meat eater, but refusing to eat meat from animals that have been treated cruelly? This morning I went to the farmers market. I bought a sirloin roast and fresh ground beef from a local farmer. His cattle are grass fed and free range, with no antibiotics or steroids. I bought two packs of chicken from an Amish farmer. Again the chickens were free range (she had pictures!) with no antibiotics or steroids. It was very expensive!!!! But that’s OK. I’ve proven to myself I don’t have to have meat at every meal, so what I purchased this morning should last a while. The Amish couple also had butter they make themselves, so I will start buying my butter from them too.

One of my goals for this year was to quit smoking, so it’s time to get started. I went to the doctor this week and got a prescription for Chantix. My employer is promoting smoking cessation heavily now, so they are offering a deal thru our health insurance to get Chantix, patches or gum for $5. My doc gave me a 12 week supply of Chantix, and a 60 day supply of patches. She said I could use both together if needed help with the withdrawal. When I filled the prescription the pharmacist said she had never seen anyone use both, and thought I would only need the Chantix. Let’s hope so because I would rather get the nicotine out of my system quickly.

I took the first pill today, so if I follow the plan, I will quit smoking in one week. I have to admit I’m a bit nervous about taking it. There were several side affects listed in the brochure, and I’ve seen a few commercials from law firms about the drug. I’m going to take the chance though. I can survive 12 weeks of weird dreams for the benefit of quitting smoking, as long as I don’t the anger or suicidal side affects.

My intent is to blog my way thought my stop smoking progress. Writing this blog is my public announcement of my commit to quit. Physically going to the doctor and the pharmacy was part of that commitment too. I have to put forth the effort on this journey, or I will never succeed.

Wish me luck!!!!

OMG….I may never eat meat again! I heard about the movie “Food Inc” a while back, and finally watched it this past weekend. The cruelty to animals that I witnessed in this movie is unbelievable. I was so upset watching this movie, I thought I was going to cry and throw up at the same time. Michael Pollan is the writer, and you see a list of his other books here http://www.michaelpollan.com. I am definitely going to buy his other books and read them too, as soon as I can get my stomach to calm down.

I am really tempted to purchase this movie on DVD so I can watch it often. I want to keep this idea fresh on my mind, and fall back into my bad ways of eating. I definitely do not want to go back to eating meat that came from industrial food farms. The scenes of baby chicks being hatched in a drawer so full they couldn’t move, and then being poured down a chute to a conveyor belt and having their heads painted for branding just made me want to run outside and pet my own chickens. I had no idea that the life cycle of these chickens is only 49 days! These chickens are fed so many steroids and growth hormones that they grow into full size adults in only 49 days after hatching. As adults they look unnatural with huge breasts and tiny legs that can’t even hold them up. The cows and pigs weren’t treated any better. They just stood around in the own waste and disease waiting to die so a million people could have a roast for dinner tonight. Even as I type this, my stomach is getting upset again.

I’ve talked before about becoming a vegetarian. I never put any real effort into changing, but for a while I did add a lot more vegetables to my diet, and tried some new things. As usual, I changed back to my lazy comfortable ways over time, and haven’t been eating as well lately. I guess those days are over now. I went to the grocery after work yesterday and bought a shopping basket full of fresh vegetables and other vegetarian goodies. For now I am a vegetarian, unless I can find a local farmer that sells meat and I can be sure they are free range, fed proper foods with steroids or antibiotics, and are treated like living beings during their life cycle.

Yesterday was my 45th birthday, and it was a very good day. I only felt one day older, no broken hip, and no mid-life crisis, haha. I am still very young at heart, and I suspect I will be that way for a very long time, so I don’t feel 45 at all.

Greg closed the store early yesterday, and got home about the same time that I did. He took me out to dinner, and bought me a wonderful back drop for my coming photography business. It’s one of the great portable drops with a carry bag, and included white and black backgrounds. So now I have my camera, lenses, spot lighting, umbrella lighting, and the back drops. I am ready to be a studio photographer! I had Greg ask Jan this week about using the yoga studio to practice and she said yes. That’s a perfect room for me to set up my equipment and play with lighting and all the different settings on my camera. She also suggested that I offer to take yoga portraits of the students. What an awesome idea! A little more practice time, and I will do just that.

Now back to my birthday. I received many birthday wishes on facebook, by email, and by texts. Recently I’ve been pondering why I don’t have many friends, and even asked Spirit to help me with this. Yesterday he showed me that I do have many friends, I just haven’t taken the time to notice and appreciate them. I put a post on facebook last night thanking everyone for the warm wishes and being blessed for having such great friends. I need to remember this everyday, just not on my birthday, to be thankful for the friends in my life, and show them that I care.

So, happy birthday to me, and thank you to Spirit for a great life!